Argh Hmpf

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

The Studboy Diaries – Superhero Edition

"Stupendous Man -- Yes! It's ... Stupendous Man! Friend of freedom! Opponent of oppression! Lover of liberty!"
-- Calvin in the Stupendous Man avatar

Thus, as the story goes, folkses, I’m back.

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Like most suckers for action flicks, I too am a big fan of studboy one-liners. Some personal favourites have been
The Departed
“When I was growing up, they would say you could become cops or criminals. But what I’m saying is this. When you’re facing a loaded gun, what’s the difference?”
“I’m the guy that does his job. You must be the other guy”
... among many, many others.
Batman Begins
“You’re not the devil you’re practice!” et al
errr .. this could go on and on .. but the point is that all these are but moonshine, water unto wine, when compared with a total gem I came across some time back.

This is from the movie Yuvraaj (:D). So, Katrina gives Salman the treatment, in full Brit-hindi accent as follows:

“Jo bete ne apne baap ki shakal sapne mein bhi na dekhi ho, woh beta nahin, woh hardcore anti-family man hai!”

HARDCORE ANTI-FAMILY MAN.

Hehehhee .. not Super-man, not Bat-man .. but Hardcore-Anti-Family Man .. this has to be the best of the best of the best ever! Move over all ye cosmic powers kind superheroes, Hardcore-Anti-Family Man is here ..

Visualize a scene from a superhero kinds movie .. rain, slush, wind, criminals putting smuggling shuggling, druglord in car … wham whoosh thud .. studboy hero descends and starts to make short work of thugs et al .. one poor thug before being whacked meekly questions “Who are you?(quiver quiver) ” .. and apna dude goes “I am (dramatic pause) Hardcore-Anti-Family Man!!”. Bwahahahhahha!

This could only have been done by Show-Man Subhash Ghai. – in deadly combination with his protégé Hardcore-Anti-Family Man … scum of the earth beware!

Actually come to think of it, if Ghai saab has actually penned the lines, then it explains everything, even the Salman Khan blond wig. Pure guts – comes from the singular attention to detail and character development which usually happens in mainstream hindi cinema. Heck, I would even have attributed Salman Khan’s American-whatever accent to the script if it hadn’t been there for some time now.

Talking of superheroes, Chhota B also played paunchy superboy Drona (fabulous movie btw, which kept me laughing all right through the flight from B’lore to Delhi). Legend has it, the director asked him to take a few months to lose weight and build muscle in order to look good in a muscle-showing He-man kinds costume et al. However when several months passed and Abhishek showed no signs of the muscle within, he gave up (the director I mean, Abhishek, it is believed did not even try) and changed the costume instead! .. flowing white, full sleeved. He even threw in a scarf, just to be doubly sure .. and Drona of the gradual paunch, was complete!

Oh and there was also Priyanka Chopra though .. thoroughly pareto-hot (which in English means ‘hotter now than she was earlier’ funda courtesy Bawa of chop-chilly fame) and in definitely better kick-punching form than Drona of the gradual paunch.

More soon .. Tally-o!

Pic: Still from the Indian Superman movie starring Puneet Issar (Duryodhan from Mahabharat .. not the current page 3 style one :D, the original series I mean). Check out the forelock :D